In relationships you both need to feel special and sexy and appreciated as much as one another, but when you have been in a relationship for a while it’s easy to take one another for granted. The more your partner feels loved, the more loving they will be in return. Here’s five ways to make your partner feel like they are the most important thing in your life – they are, aren’t they?
Pay meaningful compliments
You know how good it feels when your partner notices that you dressed up specially, just for them? They like to feel that good, too. Pay enough attention to what your partner does and says so that when you pay them a compliment, it really means something. Tell him the lawn looks great after he’s spent two hours giving it a trim. Thank her for remembering to record the footie for you.
Listen when they talk.
And that means active listening, not just nodding and saying ‘Uh huh’ once in a while. Ask real questions and then listen to the answers, make it a proper conversation.
Say thank you.
It’s easy to take the things someone does for granted – and after a while, it starts to feel like you’re taking them for granted too. Among the best relationship advice you’ll ever get is to say thank you - often! Thank you for making breakfast. Thank you for taking out the rubbish. Thank you for making me feel so good. One male friend tells me that the one thing his wife does that makes him feel great is – saying thank you after they make love. Which leads us to…
Get physical.
Express your affection physically. Touch your partner a lot. What is your partner’s favourite touch? Try to find opportunities to use it – and not just sexually. The extra hug at the door, a kiss that lasts a few seconds longer than it needs to be – all of those touches help make someone feel extra special.
Surprise them.
Call your partner at lunch just to tell them you can’t wait for them to get home. Take him out for dinner for a change – and pick up the tab yourself. Buy her flowers for no reason at all. Whisper to him that you “Oops! Forgot your knickers in your rush to get dressed for dinner”.
And here’s a bonus just because you read all the way to the end – say the words. Just tell them out loud how sexy, fantastic, intelligent, charming and fun they are. Practice positive communication from the start and you’ll never need relationship rescue.
Chris Norton writes for Armchair Advice. Armchair Advice is a UK website providing specialist job loss and relationship rescue. Whether you require emotional support, financial advice or divorce solicitors, you can find them all at Armchair Advice.
For more information please visit Armchair Advice.
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Showing posts with label divorce. Show all posts
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide
Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly with regards to the mortgage and household bills. When marriage seperation is inevitable obviously both parties need somewhere to stay and often it can be quite difficult to sell one property and then try to finance two. Some couples agree to keep the existing property going and one partner move out into rented accommodation for a trial marriage seperation period. This then gives each partner time to reflect and decide what may be better for both parties. However, both parties in marriage seperation have to live and are sometimes eligible for single parent help should they have children. This, together with child maintenance, could help with their financial situation considerably.
Marriage seperation can be a lonely one as you may not get asked to dinner parties and get togethers from your existing circle of friends who are still married. People intend to invite couples to join couples and have a good time. They sometimes forget that friends, whether together in marriage or not, should still be friends and it often helps to keep them in the same circle of friends even in marriage seperation. After all we are all human and need all the friends we have especially at the beginning of a marriage seperation. True friends will always want to help you at a time like this when your morale is low and you need motivation.
It is also helpful to meet new people who are in the same situation as yourself. They will understand what you are going through and it may help you too to get things off your chest. You never know, you may even gain a complete new circle of friends. There are so many meeting points for people on their own. Dinner dates, luncheons and breakfast clubs operate throughout the country so meeting new people, where for friendship or a new prospective partner could be a step in the right direction to get you motivated and get you out of a rut.
Of course marriage seperation for the older person tends to be much harder a you tend to think that most people by now have found their ideal partner and that there do not seem to be many older people looking for companionship or a stable relationship. Again, clubs and groups of all ages operate in most areas. Obviously you will be more cautious next time around as you have already been hurt in the past. But you now have more experience behind you and know what to look for in the future whether it be friendship or a more permanent relationship.
Marriage seperation is hard work but once you come to terms with what has happened in your life you should be able to build a new life for yourself and look forward to new and rewarding challenges that come along. Marriage seperation can and will be stressful at times but keep your head above water and you will begin to see positive results arise in your future. Concentrate on being positive in the future and you will reap the rewards that await you. Everything comes to those who wait.
Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.
http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com
Marriage seperation can be a lonely one as you may not get asked to dinner parties and get togethers from your existing circle of friends who are still married. People intend to invite couples to join couples and have a good time. They sometimes forget that friends, whether together in marriage or not, should still be friends and it often helps to keep them in the same circle of friends even in marriage seperation. After all we are all human and need all the friends we have especially at the beginning of a marriage seperation. True friends will always want to help you at a time like this when your morale is low and you need motivation.
It is also helpful to meet new people who are in the same situation as yourself. They will understand what you are going through and it may help you too to get things off your chest. You never know, you may even gain a complete new circle of friends. There are so many meeting points for people on their own. Dinner dates, luncheons and breakfast clubs operate throughout the country so meeting new people, where for friendship or a new prospective partner could be a step in the right direction to get you motivated and get you out of a rut.
Of course marriage seperation for the older person tends to be much harder a you tend to think that most people by now have found their ideal partner and that there do not seem to be many older people looking for companionship or a stable relationship. Again, clubs and groups of all ages operate in most areas. Obviously you will be more cautious next time around as you have already been hurt in the past. But you now have more experience behind you and know what to look for in the future whether it be friendship or a more permanent relationship.
Marriage seperation is hard work but once you come to terms with what has happened in your life you should be able to build a new life for yourself and look forward to new and rewarding challenges that come along. Marriage seperation can and will be stressful at times but keep your head above water and you will begin to see positive results arise in your future. Concentrate on being positive in the future and you will reap the rewards that await you. Everything comes to those who wait.
Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.
http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com
Thursday, November 16, 2006
5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A Divorce
There are many steps to take to protect yourself in a divorce. This article will get you started. Your best bet is to talk to a lawyer before you do anything.
1. Talk to a Marriage Counselor or other professional who may be able to help you save your marriage.
Even if you don’t think there’s hope for the marriage, “divorce counseling” can help you discover what went wrong, how to cope, and how to pick up the pieces and go on. Don’t wait for your spouse to participate. If you don’t know how to find a qualified counselor, our firm will be glad to recommend one or you can check out the directory of professionals at stayhappilymarried.com. Your employment, social or religious contacts might also provide leads.
2. Talk to an attorney before you do anything.
Even if you don’t end up hiring an attorney to handle your separation or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information as you can before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. There’s a lot to know about divorce in North Carolina…our laws are complex and even the simplest situation can be very confusing to families already in distress. Actions you take now may very well affect the outcome of your divorce (see #3) and you need to understand your options ahead of time…not some time down the road when it may be too late to alter the outcome. Click here to find attorneys who are well versed in the intricacies of North Carolina divorce law.
3. Do not move out of the marital home without talking to an attorney first.
Leaving the house without a good reason may cause you to pay alimony or may result in your inability to collect alimony. If you leave the house, you may also be unable to return until after a court divides the property. This process might take more than a year. The best advice is to stay in the house until after you talk with an attorney unless your spouse is violent. If your spouse is violent, you must take all steps necessary to protect yourself and your children.
4. If you have been involved in any extramarital affairs, talk to a lawyer before you discuss this with your spouse or anyone else.
In this case, honesty may not be the best policy. In addition to the fact that adultery is illegal in some states, admission of an affair can have other dire consequences. If your spouse is a candidate for alimony, any illicit sexual behavior on your part (during the marriage…which includes the time you are separated) could end up costing you thousands in additional alimony payments.
5. Take concrete steps to safeguard your assets before you and your spouse begin discussing divorce.
One of these steps is to take possession of certain assets during separation, especially those assets you wish to be using, such as furniture and vehicles, and those assets that might be liquidated by your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectibles, cash, and bearer bonds.
Another self-protective step is to file what is known as a Lis Pendens in the Deeds Office of any county where you and/or your spouse own real property. The lis pendens puts third parties on notice of your claim to have an interest in the real estate against which the lis pendens is docketed. The lis pendens is basically a notice of pending litigation that may affect real property. A properly recorded and served lis pendens clouds the title to the property, preventing an effective sale of the property behind your back. The rules regarding a lis pendens contain very specific requirements, all of which are spelled out in section 1-116 and the following sections of the North Carolina General Statutes.
A third possible step to protect the assets of your marriage is to get an injunction restraining your spouse from transferring or otherwise disposing of any property covered by the restraining order. Your attorney can also use an injunction to get your separate property returned to you, where your separate property is in the possession of your spouse and the spouse refuses to give it to you. The equitable distribution statute also provides a means for you to obtain an interim distribution of marital property, pending a final resolution of the property matter. Such an interim allocation could, for instance, give you much needed funds on which to live.
Other protective measures you might consider in your divorce planning include: (1) protecting your own credit rating by freezing or closing joint cards and by blocking your spouse's access to other joint credit such as a home equity loan; (2) closing joint bank accounts and opening accounts in your own, individual name; (3) changing the name of the responsible party on utility and other bills; and (4) spending where possible your spouse's separate property first, marital property next, and your own separate property last.
While this list will help you get started on the right track, it is by no means a complete list of all the things you need to do and know if you are considering a divorce. For more information about the rights and duties of separating and divorcing husbands and wives visit http://www.rosen.com. You’ll find a complete law library, downloadable divorce forms, a legal fee calculator, a child support calculator, lists of professionals who can help you and stories from people just like you who have survived divorce.
Lee S. Rosen is a Board Certified Family Law Specialist and founder of Rosen Divorce in North Carolina. Rosen Divorce is the largest divorce firm in the Southeastern United States. For more information visit http://www.rosen.com.
1. Talk to a Marriage Counselor or other professional who may be able to help you save your marriage.
Even if you don’t think there’s hope for the marriage, “divorce counseling” can help you discover what went wrong, how to cope, and how to pick up the pieces and go on. Don’t wait for your spouse to participate. If you don’t know how to find a qualified counselor, our firm will be glad to recommend one or you can check out the directory of professionals at stayhappilymarried.com. Your employment, social or religious contacts might also provide leads.
2. Talk to an attorney before you do anything.
Even if you don’t end up hiring an attorney to handle your separation or divorce, you would be well advised to get as much information as you can before you even discuss divorce with your spouse. There’s a lot to know about divorce in North Carolina…our laws are complex and even the simplest situation can be very confusing to families already in distress. Actions you take now may very well affect the outcome of your divorce (see #3) and you need to understand your options ahead of time…not some time down the road when it may be too late to alter the outcome. Click here to find attorneys who are well versed in the intricacies of North Carolina divorce law.
3. Do not move out of the marital home without talking to an attorney first.
Leaving the house without a good reason may cause you to pay alimony or may result in your inability to collect alimony. If you leave the house, you may also be unable to return until after a court divides the property. This process might take more than a year. The best advice is to stay in the house until after you talk with an attorney unless your spouse is violent. If your spouse is violent, you must take all steps necessary to protect yourself and your children.
4. If you have been involved in any extramarital affairs, talk to a lawyer before you discuss this with your spouse or anyone else.
In this case, honesty may not be the best policy. In addition to the fact that adultery is illegal in some states, admission of an affair can have other dire consequences. If your spouse is a candidate for alimony, any illicit sexual behavior on your part (during the marriage…which includes the time you are separated) could end up costing you thousands in additional alimony payments.
5. Take concrete steps to safeguard your assets before you and your spouse begin discussing divorce.
One of these steps is to take possession of certain assets during separation, especially those assets you wish to be using, such as furniture and vehicles, and those assets that might be liquidated by your spouse, including precious gems and stones, other collectibles, cash, and bearer bonds.
Another self-protective step is to file what is known as a Lis Pendens in the Deeds Office of any county where you and/or your spouse own real property. The lis pendens puts third parties on notice of your claim to have an interest in the real estate against which the lis pendens is docketed. The lis pendens is basically a notice of pending litigation that may affect real property. A properly recorded and served lis pendens clouds the title to the property, preventing an effective sale of the property behind your back. The rules regarding a lis pendens contain very specific requirements, all of which are spelled out in section 1-116 and the following sections of the North Carolina General Statutes.
A third possible step to protect the assets of your marriage is to get an injunction restraining your spouse from transferring or otherwise disposing of any property covered by the restraining order. Your attorney can also use an injunction to get your separate property returned to you, where your separate property is in the possession of your spouse and the spouse refuses to give it to you. The equitable distribution statute also provides a means for you to obtain an interim distribution of marital property, pending a final resolution of the property matter. Such an interim allocation could, for instance, give you much needed funds on which to live.
Other protective measures you might consider in your divorce planning include: (1) protecting your own credit rating by freezing or closing joint cards and by blocking your spouse's access to other joint credit such as a home equity loan; (2) closing joint bank accounts and opening accounts in your own, individual name; (3) changing the name of the responsible party on utility and other bills; and (4) spending where possible your spouse's separate property first, marital property next, and your own separate property last.
While this list will help you get started on the right track, it is by no means a complete list of all the things you need to do and know if you are considering a divorce. For more information about the rights and duties of separating and divorcing husbands and wives visit http://www.rosen.com. You’ll find a complete law library, downloadable divorce forms, a legal fee calculator, a child support calculator, lists of professionals who can help you and stories from people just like you who have survived divorce.
Lee S. Rosen is a Board Certified Family Law Specialist and founder of Rosen Divorce in North Carolina. Rosen Divorce is the largest divorce firm in the Southeastern United States. For more information visit http://www.rosen.com.
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