The interesting thing about getting the love you deserve is that you have a great deal of influence in the kind of love you get. Most times, the love one gets is a function of the kind of love one gives. And when it comes to love, communication is the fuel that fans its flame. The words you choose can be the difference between a relationship where there is constant drama or one that is nurturing, blissful and romantic.
Now that you know that, let me share a little bit of the kinds of words that just simply turns men on and makes them want to love you even more.
1. Honey
2. Sweetheart
3. Sweetie
4. Baby
5. Darling
6. Sexy
7. Fine
8. Handsome
9. Stud muffin
10. Sugar
11. You just make me feel so good.
12. You are the best.
13. I can’t get enough of you.
14. You drive me wild.
15. You know me inside and out.
16. I love you so much.
17. I love you with all my heart and soul.
18. You make me laugh.
19. You are so funny.
20. I love the way you love me.
21. I love the way you make me feel.
22. I never want you to stop loving me.
23. I don’t know what I would do without you in my life.
24. You make me feel so special.
25. I need you in my life.
26. You just made my day.
27. I can’t get enough of your hugs and kisses.
28. I apologize.
29. I promise to love you forever.
30. You are the one for me.
31. I don’t need anyone else in my life.
32. You are more than enough for me.
33. Marry me and make me the happiest woman.
34. I have always loved you and will always love you.
35. I miss you so much.
36. I am so lonely without you.
37. My life is empty without you.
38. I can’t wait to see you.
39. I want to be with you forever.
40. I love the way you hold me.
41. It kills me to know that you will be gone for a long time.
42. I feel like I am dreaming when I am with you.
43. I have never been loved like this before.
44. I’d love to wake up next to you forever.
45. It hurts me so much to see you this way.
46. If I can’t be with you, then I don’t want to be with anyone else.
47. I am not waiting for a knight in shining armor – mine has already arrived.
48. If your kisses were wishes I would make a 1000 wishes.
49. Life has never been better since you came into my life.
50. I can’t believe we have been together for so long. I guess time flies when you are having fun.
51. I will go to the ends of the world for you.
52. Life without your love is a life I’d rather not live.
53. I love the way you look at me.
54. I trust you with all my heart.
55. Thank you for all you have done for me.
56. The words “I love you” are not enough to express how I feel about you.
57. I can't find the words to express how you make me feel.
58. You make me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world.
59. Just being with you is enough for me to have a great time.
60. You don’t have to say a word for me to feel your love.
Life without endearing words is like being in a garden without flowers. Endearing words create a feeling that transcends our reality and makes life worth living.
To find out more about how you can make your man fall head over heels in love with you, please visit: http://www.smartwomansguide.com.
Don’t forget to share this article with your friends – they will be glad you did.
Steve Ubah is the author of Passion Keys – A Woman’s Ultimate Guide To Unlocking The Love In A Man’s Heart. To find out how you can make your man fall madly in love with you, please visit http://www.smartwomansguide.com
A note to all publishers: Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine, newsletter or website as long as the article’s content is not modified and all links as well as the author’s resource box are included.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
How to Start a Conversation Effortlessly
The ability to converse effortlessly with those you
encounter is a critical component of all your personal and
business relationships.
Good communication skills promote an image of
self-confidence and intelligence. This is not to say that
those people who find it hard to strike up a conversation
are less intelligent.
They simply need to develop the appropriate skills. If you
need to improve upon your communication skills, here are a
few tips to help you get started down the right path.
You can learn how to start a conversation and converse with
anybody, anytime.
1. In order to make interesting conversation, you must be
interesting to others. Keeping yourself informed on current
events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a
mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways
to break the ice. And a great tool to help you learn how to
start a conversation with almost anybody.
2. Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel,
prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest
you most and what you would like to discuss about a
particular subject.
A little preparation will go a long way in enabling you to
easily converse with others. Don't be afraid to ask
questions.
In general, people like to talk about themselves and will
respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions.
Learning how to start a conversation is not quite as
difficult if you prepare in advance.
3. Make an effort to be a good listener when starting a
conversation. After you make the initial effort, listen
closely to the other person's response.
Often you'll find an invitation to continue the
conversation if you listen carefully and respond
accordingly. Balance is the key in any conversation.
Alternate between talking and listening to what the other
person is saying and make additional comments as
appropriate.
Learning how to start a conversation is really just using
good manners and showing a genuine interest in others.
4. Even if you find it extremely difficult, always greet
those you encounter with a smile and look them directly in
the eye.
It may be hard at first, but self-confidence is a learned
skill and by acting confidently, you will gain new
self-confidence.
Soon enough you will notice that it is not as hard to
maintain eye contact and carry on a conversation. Act
confidently and you will eventually become confident.
Developing self-confidence is an important part of learning
how to start a conversation.
5. Try to remember small details about co-workers and
acquaintances. Asking about a weekend plan or a relative is
an excellent way to start a conversation and show genuine
interest in those around you.
If you are interesting, attentive, and act with confidence
you will appear to be the kind of person people like to
have as a friend.
By practicing these new skills until they become second
nature, you will increase your own self-esteem and learn
how to start a conversation easily.
Learning how to start a conversation is really just a
process of practicing your social skills until they become
a habit.
Repetition and determination are the most important factors
in building your level of confidence and conversing
effortlessly in any situation.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
encounter is a critical component of all your personal and
business relationships.
Good communication skills promote an image of
self-confidence and intelligence. This is not to say that
those people who find it hard to strike up a conversation
are less intelligent.
They simply need to develop the appropriate skills. If you
need to improve upon your communication skills, here are a
few tips to help you get started down the right path.
You can learn how to start a conversation and converse with
anybody, anytime.
1. In order to make interesting conversation, you must be
interesting to others. Keeping yourself informed on current
events, staying involved in activities, and keeping a
mental list of good topics of discussion are excellent ways
to break the ice. And a great tool to help you learn how to
start a conversation with almost anybody.
2. Instead of focusing on how uncomfortable you feel,
prepare yourself by thinking of the issues that interest
you most and what you would like to discuss about a
particular subject.
A little preparation will go a long way in enabling you to
easily converse with others. Don't be afraid to ask
questions.
In general, people like to talk about themselves and will
respond favorably when asked simple, friendly questions.
Learning how to start a conversation is not quite as
difficult if you prepare in advance.
3. Make an effort to be a good listener when starting a
conversation. After you make the initial effort, listen
closely to the other person's response.
Often you'll find an invitation to continue the
conversation if you listen carefully and respond
accordingly. Balance is the key in any conversation.
Alternate between talking and listening to what the other
person is saying and make additional comments as
appropriate.
Learning how to start a conversation is really just using
good manners and showing a genuine interest in others.
4. Even if you find it extremely difficult, always greet
those you encounter with a smile and look them directly in
the eye.
It may be hard at first, but self-confidence is a learned
skill and by acting confidently, you will gain new
self-confidence.
Soon enough you will notice that it is not as hard to
maintain eye contact and carry on a conversation. Act
confidently and you will eventually become confident.
Developing self-confidence is an important part of learning
how to start a conversation.
5. Try to remember small details about co-workers and
acquaintances. Asking about a weekend plan or a relative is
an excellent way to start a conversation and show genuine
interest in those around you.
If you are interesting, attentive, and act with confidence
you will appear to be the kind of person people like to
have as a friend.
By practicing these new skills until they become second
nature, you will increase your own self-esteem and learn
how to start a conversation easily.
Learning how to start a conversation is really just a
process of practicing your social skills until they become
a habit.
Repetition and determination are the most important factors
in building your level of confidence and conversing
effortlessly in any situation.
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report:10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. This report reveals the secret strategies all high achievers use to communicate with charm and impact. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm
Monday, November 20, 2006
Top Ten Ways To Have An Affair And Not Get Caught...
Most everyone believes when they get married that it will be forever. However, the reality in today's world is that many marriages fail and result in divorce. Other married couples may fall out of love and grow to dislike one another more than they care to admit. But for a variety of reasons (kids, money, religious beliefs etc...), they remain husband and wife in theory primarily.These types of marriages can inevitably lead one or both spouses to seek the comfort of another adult and eventually cheat on one another. Another scenario that may lead a married person to be unfaithful is an unexpected meeting with someone who sweeps them off their feet.Despite their attempts to prevent this relationship from becoming an extramarital affair, they may find their feelings to powerful to deny and thus give into their desires to be with this new person. The saying "Life is too short..." comes to mind as justification for this new love or lust.Yet other married people may consciously choose to cheat on their spouses. If you fall into that category, you probably have the art of not getting caught mastered already.Regardless of what leads a spouse to break their wedding vows, here some of the best ways to get away with an affair.
Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp
- Never bring your lover to your home.
- Never go to your lover's home (unless they are completely single and free from the ties of marriage and/or a serious relationship.) If they get caught by their significant other, chances are your spouse will also find out.
- Never call your new companion from your home phone and/or your cell phone (if your spouse has access to your phone record.)
- Never give your new friend your home phone number.
- Keep a low profile when you are out with your lover. You would be surprised how many people know you and/or your spouse, who unbeknownst to you may see you lavishing inappropriate attention on your new companion in public.
- Do your best to meet with your lover out of town - somewhere far enough away from home that you do not know people and people do not know you.
- Try to set up a regular schedule of "dates" with your lover. If your spouse expects you to be out of town for business overnight every Wednesday, he/she will not suspect anything when you maintain this schedule and include your new friend in your overnight stays.
- Do not become too confident in your ability to deceive your spouse. If you become too sure of yourself, you will get sloppy and you may get caught.
- Do not tell everyone you know about your illicit trysts. You should trust very few, if any, friends with your secret.
- Do not make promises you cannot keep. Nothing will prompt your lover to reveal your affair to your spouse quicker than your failure to fulfill some insincere commitment to end your marriage for him or her.
Resource Box - © Danielle Hollister (2004) is the Publisher of BellaOnline Quotations Zine - A free newsletter for quote lovers featuring more than 10,000 quotations in dozens of categories like - love, friendship, children, inspiration, success, wisdom, family, life, and many more. Read it online at - http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art8364.asp
The Two-Way Street of Flirting and Attraction
Why do so many guys have a hard time with approaching women and flirting?
Besides the causally-rooted social influence itself, it's because women forgot how to play the flirting game.
When a woman is showing no signs of interest and is being dismissive and aloof like millions of them are today, they're not giving their own dating lives any help.
They'll go to a Starbucks and instead of giving off signs to guys they're interested in, will stay stuck in their iPOD or their laptop essentially expecting guys to do all of the work. Meanwhile they ask 'why can't I meet any men?' Yet there are dozens of great options everytime they go there.
It's right in front of them and they can't even see it. It's time that women started helping men out because the natural way of attraction is called flirting. It's a sexual communication between a man and a woman.
Basically how it works is this; the man walks in and shouldn't have to do anything. From there, women will start picking up his characteristics and if they're interested they will send nonverbal signals back that are subtle yet obvious enough to let the guy know that it's ok to approach.
Millions of women have turned off their receptor cells and ability to play the flirting game. Unfortunately they have become like brick walls.
The man is nonverbally sending out his S.O.N.A.R.R. (science of natural attraction/response) or 'signal' but it's often never getting bounced back by these independent and developed women. Thus everything becomes a challenge.
This is a root of why there are now more singles than ever.
How can I dare say such a thing? Call it cultural differentiation.
In a first world country, everyone is too independent and not interdependent enough.
They're too stuck in their own world. Women will wear iPOD's and not show ANY signs of interest even in guys that they know they are interested in. This further makes them more frustrated.
Because this is such a social pandemic now, few of these people can explain their behavior.
Cultural differentiation from all of this was the one thing that saved me from utter confusion. Here is just an amazingly true concept. As a man you're supposed to be the same man before, during and after any interaction with women and staying high in character.
Now; as a man, you can go in all kinds of different environments and you'll receive all kinds of different responses to absolutely no responses.
Today's women are often so disconnected and cold that a Tom Cruise could walk in and they wouldn't even know it was him if they didn't know before. They've forgotten how to play the game because of all of their independent development.
So if you walk into some environments like I have without doing anything, you're treated as a rock star, other environments will women be actually throwing obvious nonverbal signs back at you to let you know it's ok to approach and then other environments you could be the best looking, highest character guy in the world and the independent, women won't give you more than a glance.
I mean is it YOU? You're (ideally) staying the same high character man at all of those times. That's why you don't EVER depend on any environment to dictate who you are.
You have to know who you are and know your relationship to anything or any event that could happen. You'll know that it's not going to change who you are and you can't depend on the completely variable responses of women or environments.
Can you see why millions of men are frustrated (like I was)? And those are with the aloof and dismissive Prada 'Inner Alpha' women. The Social Alpha women are more apt to pricktease instead of flirt which confuses men even more and doesn't help the women either.
Prickteasing is the socially contrived act of sexual communication. Flirting is the natural act of
communication.
So many men are confused more with women who will pricktease a man into thinking she is flirting with him when she was either just toying around or planning on ditching him anyways.
It comes down to this; flirting is the natural act of sexual communication and it's a two way street.
It's not up to the man alone to do all of the work and entertain a woman. It's also not entirely his fault to take ALL of the burden for the behaviorism that current society has conditioned into the women.
It's up to him to understand the difference between flirting and prickteasing. It's up to him to clear away the confusion so that he can liberate his own lifetime of oppression when it comes to dating.
Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself.
His work focuses on the regaining and improving of real character within frustrated men who do don't want to 'act', use pick-up lines or techniques to get women.
He teaches modern men how to truly be natural and comfortable in their own skin to consistently succeed with women, attraction and dating. You can sign up for his free eZines and find out more information at http://www.relationaldynamics.org
He also has a free podcast at http://www.lifestyledatingradio.com
Besides the causally-rooted social influence itself, it's because women forgot how to play the flirting game.
When a woman is showing no signs of interest and is being dismissive and aloof like millions of them are today, they're not giving their own dating lives any help.
They'll go to a Starbucks and instead of giving off signs to guys they're interested in, will stay stuck in their iPOD or their laptop essentially expecting guys to do all of the work. Meanwhile they ask 'why can't I meet any men?' Yet there are dozens of great options everytime they go there.
It's right in front of them and they can't even see it. It's time that women started helping men out because the natural way of attraction is called flirting. It's a sexual communication between a man and a woman.
Basically how it works is this; the man walks in and shouldn't have to do anything. From there, women will start picking up his characteristics and if they're interested they will send nonverbal signals back that are subtle yet obvious enough to let the guy know that it's ok to approach.
Millions of women have turned off their receptor cells and ability to play the flirting game. Unfortunately they have become like brick walls.
The man is nonverbally sending out his S.O.N.A.R.R. (science of natural attraction/response) or 'signal' but it's often never getting bounced back by these independent and developed women. Thus everything becomes a challenge.
This is a root of why there are now more singles than ever.
How can I dare say such a thing? Call it cultural differentiation.
In a first world country, everyone is too independent and not interdependent enough.
They're too stuck in their own world. Women will wear iPOD's and not show ANY signs of interest even in guys that they know they are interested in. This further makes them more frustrated.
Because this is such a social pandemic now, few of these people can explain their behavior.
Cultural differentiation from all of this was the one thing that saved me from utter confusion. Here is just an amazingly true concept. As a man you're supposed to be the same man before, during and after any interaction with women and staying high in character.
Now; as a man, you can go in all kinds of different environments and you'll receive all kinds of different responses to absolutely no responses.
Today's women are often so disconnected and cold that a Tom Cruise could walk in and they wouldn't even know it was him if they didn't know before. They've forgotten how to play the game because of all of their independent development.
So if you walk into some environments like I have without doing anything, you're treated as a rock star, other environments will women be actually throwing obvious nonverbal signs back at you to let you know it's ok to approach and then other environments you could be the best looking, highest character guy in the world and the independent, women won't give you more than a glance.
I mean is it YOU? You're (ideally) staying the same high character man at all of those times. That's why you don't EVER depend on any environment to dictate who you are.
You have to know who you are and know your relationship to anything or any event that could happen. You'll know that it's not going to change who you are and you can't depend on the completely variable responses of women or environments.
Can you see why millions of men are frustrated (like I was)? And those are with the aloof and dismissive Prada 'Inner Alpha' women. The Social Alpha women are more apt to pricktease instead of flirt which confuses men even more and doesn't help the women either.
Prickteasing is the socially contrived act of sexual communication. Flirting is the natural act of
communication.
So many men are confused more with women who will pricktease a man into thinking she is flirting with him when she was either just toying around or planning on ditching him anyways.
It comes down to this; flirting is the natural act of sexual communication and it's a two way street.
It's not up to the man alone to do all of the work and entertain a woman. It's also not entirely his fault to take ALL of the burden for the behaviorism that current society has conditioned into the women.
It's up to him to understand the difference between flirting and prickteasing. It's up to him to clear away the confusion so that he can liberate his own lifetime of oppression when it comes to dating.
Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself.
His work focuses on the regaining and improving of real character within frustrated men who do don't want to 'act', use pick-up lines or techniques to get women.
He teaches modern men how to truly be natural and comfortable in their own skin to consistently succeed with women, attraction and dating. You can sign up for his free eZines and find out more information at http://www.relationaldynamics.org
He also has a free podcast at http://www.lifestyledatingradio.com
Sunday, November 19, 2006
How to Act Around Beautiful Women
Basically, you shouldn't 'act' at all because women will see through it.
So many people say that you should 'just be yourself' around women. The problem is that most men just 'aren't' being themselves anymore around women. And no matter how they try, they just can't! What happens when they see an extremely desirable woman?
Their physiology changes. They become hesitant, incongruent in their body language, nervous, and so forth. Why? There was a change in his relational reality when he wasn't suppose to change, ESPECIALLY when he wasn't supposed to change.
Ultimately you ARE just supposed to be yourself around women. When you're comfortable in your own skin, then they'll be able to trust you and open up to you. It's really the woman's level of interest that matters and ultimately decides if both of you are getting anywhere anyways.
When you're comfortable in your own skin even in the face of her tremendously leveraged Inner and Social character power, women will start throwing you those natural looks and flirty signals much more. They'll start desiring YOU often for nothing other than being the first man who is truly comfortable around their beauty.
From a woman's angle, sure she's beautiful but it's also a curse because it's hard to find 'real men' especially who aren't jerks. And usually it's all kinds of 'nice guys' who are stuck in the relationship of being the permanent 'response' to her which she doesn't like at all.
But how do you just 'be yourself' around women when they ARE so beautiful, empowered, intelligent and desirable? After all, you shouldn't have to develop a fake 'persona' or 'front', you should be able to let your true colors shine like our forefathers did.
Well..
You could say to change your self-limiting beliefs but that still isn't going to help most guys. Why? Primarily because the things that have limited them in the first place, they're not aware of and don't understand those powers.
It's not necessarily 'them' that is the problem. It's lack of cognition in the great relational and social power game that is going on that is preventing men and women from being normal anymore.
Once you can 'see the matrix' like Neo does, you'll be able to differentiate yourself from it and have more independent power than you ever thought possible.
You'll be able to re-frame your entire reality to one of having only win/win relationships with other people including all sources of influence coming from the social matrix itself. Then, you'll be able to let your true colors shine.
You'll be a 'real man' who doesn't need pick up lines. You can just make comfortable and social connections, then let women respond and open up to you. Then the mating game continues from there because you were born to know what to do; just unlearn everything that has gotten in the way.
Realigning yourself to power alpha relational dynamics defines all of your behavior so that you anything you do is the right thing because the women are interested and attracted.
This is the way it's supposed to be, is for the 'naturals' and that's why you'll have to trust that you really don't need to learn 'the words to say' as those are just crutches for guys who are stuck in the response reality to the stimulus of women.
I teach men how to get this level of power and fearless with Relational Mapping and Nano Elemental Oversight. Consider it advanced, power relationship management and a complete change in reality with a complete change in results.
No more 'acting', it's time for 'being'. Being that man who is comfortable in his skin before, during and after any interaction with beautiful women and that's when they know they can trust you and respond to you. It's time to be 'real'.
Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself.
His work focuses on the regaining and improving of real character within frustrated men who do don't want to 'act', use pick-up lines or techniques to get women.
He teaches modern men how to truly be natural and comfortable in their own skin to consistently succeed with women, attraction and dating. You can sign up for his free eZines and find out more information at http://www.relationaldynamics.org
He also has a free podcast at http://www.lifestyledatingradio.com
So many people say that you should 'just be yourself' around women. The problem is that most men just 'aren't' being themselves anymore around women. And no matter how they try, they just can't! What happens when they see an extremely desirable woman?
Their physiology changes. They become hesitant, incongruent in their body language, nervous, and so forth. Why? There was a change in his relational reality when he wasn't suppose to change, ESPECIALLY when he wasn't supposed to change.
Ultimately you ARE just supposed to be yourself around women. When you're comfortable in your own skin, then they'll be able to trust you and open up to you. It's really the woman's level of interest that matters and ultimately decides if both of you are getting anywhere anyways.
When you're comfortable in your own skin even in the face of her tremendously leveraged Inner and Social character power, women will start throwing you those natural looks and flirty signals much more. They'll start desiring YOU often for nothing other than being the first man who is truly comfortable around their beauty.
From a woman's angle, sure she's beautiful but it's also a curse because it's hard to find 'real men' especially who aren't jerks. And usually it's all kinds of 'nice guys' who are stuck in the relationship of being the permanent 'response' to her which she doesn't like at all.
But how do you just 'be yourself' around women when they ARE so beautiful, empowered, intelligent and desirable? After all, you shouldn't have to develop a fake 'persona' or 'front', you should be able to let your true colors shine like our forefathers did.
Well..
You could say to change your self-limiting beliefs but that still isn't going to help most guys. Why? Primarily because the things that have limited them in the first place, they're not aware of and don't understand those powers.
It's not necessarily 'them' that is the problem. It's lack of cognition in the great relational and social power game that is going on that is preventing men and women from being normal anymore.
Once you can 'see the matrix' like Neo does, you'll be able to differentiate yourself from it and have more independent power than you ever thought possible.
You'll be able to re-frame your entire reality to one of having only win/win relationships with other people including all sources of influence coming from the social matrix itself. Then, you'll be able to let your true colors shine.
You'll be a 'real man' who doesn't need pick up lines. You can just make comfortable and social connections, then let women respond and open up to you. Then the mating game continues from there because you were born to know what to do; just unlearn everything that has gotten in the way.
Realigning yourself to power alpha relational dynamics defines all of your behavior so that you anything you do is the right thing because the women are interested and attracted.
This is the way it's supposed to be, is for the 'naturals' and that's why you'll have to trust that you really don't need to learn 'the words to say' as those are just crutches for guys who are stuck in the response reality to the stimulus of women.
I teach men how to get this level of power and fearless with Relational Mapping and Nano Elemental Oversight. Consider it advanced, power relationship management and a complete change in reality with a complete change in results.
No more 'acting', it's time for 'being'. Being that man who is comfortable in his skin before, during and after any interaction with beautiful women and that's when they know they can trust you and respond to you. It's time to be 'real'.
Rion Williams is one of the foremost experts in dating advice, personal power and relational dynamics. He is well-known within the seduction community itself.
His work focuses on the regaining and improving of real character within frustrated men who do don't want to 'act', use pick-up lines or techniques to get women.
He teaches modern men how to truly be natural and comfortable in their own skin to consistently succeed with women, attraction and dating. You can sign up for his free eZines and find out more information at http://www.relationaldynamics.org
He also has a free podcast at http://www.lifestyledatingradio.com
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You
How to Tell If Your Boyfriend or Husband Is Cheating On You
By Brandi Simon
The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman I’ve ever had the opportunity to speak with. While many make the claim that their spouse would never cheat on them they realize that is false hope and that it could very well happen to them.
When trying to decide if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you, you should start by looking for some of the warning signs.
Now it’s really easy to look at a list like this and see something that your husband does. That’s why it’s important to remember that you are looking for changes in his behavior. If you husband normally takes a shower as soon as he gets home from work then it is unlikely that this is a sign of his cheating. You are looking for multiple changes in behavior, routine, or personality; not isolated incidences or incidences that do not last. Take for example the lower desire to be with you sexually. This would be common when your husband is sick or under pressure at work. This alone should not raise any red flags. However, if you notice this and then a week later he comes home smelling of perfume, this is cause for alarm.
There are many people out there claiming to be experts who will tell you that you should confront your husband when you become suspicious but, that is on of the worst things you can do. I’ve even read that you should confront because the longer you wait the better they become at lying to you. I believe these people have never been in your position. To confront without some sort of evidence will only lead to more lies. Do not be fooled, your boyfriend or husband has been lying to you for quite some time and is really good at it.
If you confront without evidence you will be lied to. They will even lie when you have the evidence. Without evidence you will be left with more doubts than when you started and you will feel as if you are crazy. Your husband will spin it and make it seem as though he just can’t believe that you would think such a thing about him. Also, you can bet your last dollar that he will become much more careful of his actions and behaviors and you may never find the truth.
Also consider the possibility that your suspicions are unfounded. What will happen to your relationship if you confront then? You valued your relationship so little that you jumped to conclusions and accused your husband of cheating without any proof!
Remember to always verify before you confront.
Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit http://www.marital-matters.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brandi_Simon
By Brandi Simon
The word infidelity brings with it fear to every woman I’ve ever had the opportunity to speak with. While many make the claim that their spouse would never cheat on them they realize that is false hope and that it could very well happen to them.
When trying to decide if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you, you should start by looking for some of the warning signs.
- Lower desire to be with you sexually.
- Suddenly tries new sexual positions.
- Working late more often.
- Mysterious phone calls.
- Gets angry when you look at the cell phone, pager, or computer. Is secretive of such.
- Smell of perfume on their clothing.
- Takes a shower as soon as he comes home.
- You find hairs or other objects on his body or in his possessions.
- Starts taking more care with his appearance.
- Accuses you of cheating.
- He changes his normal routine without cause or reason.
Now it’s really easy to look at a list like this and see something that your husband does. That’s why it’s important to remember that you are looking for changes in his behavior. If you husband normally takes a shower as soon as he gets home from work then it is unlikely that this is a sign of his cheating. You are looking for multiple changes in behavior, routine, or personality; not isolated incidences or incidences that do not last. Take for example the lower desire to be with you sexually. This would be common when your husband is sick or under pressure at work. This alone should not raise any red flags. However, if you notice this and then a week later he comes home smelling of perfume, this is cause for alarm.
There are many people out there claiming to be experts who will tell you that you should confront your husband when you become suspicious but, that is on of the worst things you can do. I’ve even read that you should confront because the longer you wait the better they become at lying to you. I believe these people have never been in your position. To confront without some sort of evidence will only lead to more lies. Do not be fooled, your boyfriend or husband has been lying to you for quite some time and is really good at it.
If you confront without evidence you will be lied to. They will even lie when you have the evidence. Without evidence you will be left with more doubts than when you started and you will feel as if you are crazy. Your husband will spin it and make it seem as though he just can’t believe that you would think such a thing about him. Also, you can bet your last dollar that he will become much more careful of his actions and behaviors and you may never find the truth.
Also consider the possibility that your suspicions are unfounded. What will happen to your relationship if you confront then? You valued your relationship so little that you jumped to conclusions and accused your husband of cheating without any proof!
Remember to always verify before you confront.
Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit Brandi Simon is the owner of Marital Matters where she offers articles and information for those suffering the effects of an extramarital affair and other relationship issues. Brandi is an affair survivor who has successfully rebuilt her marriage from the ashes and offers advice to those who are recovering. To learn more about the website or Brandi, please visit http://www.marital-matters.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brandi_Simon
Saturday, November 18, 2006
How To Keep Your Love Alive
How To Keep Your Love Alive
By Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if the original closeness that existed in a relationship starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping love alive requires time, attention and the willingness to keep things fresh and learn how to constantly reconnect. Here are some steps that will help us reconnect with our partners, and keep the love alive.
Step 1: Give up dead routines
After the initial excitement of being together is over, many fall into a routine and begin taking one another for granted. They assume they know what their partner is feeling, that it doesn’t matter if they come late for a date, don’t look as good as they used to, or decide to spend more and more time out with friends. However, it is crucial to realize that there are many small ways in which we sabotage relationships. Unless two people feel cared for and valued by one another, it is easy for the feelings of love to fade away.
Break into routines. Snap out of ruts. Take time to plan exciting, romantic, delicious times to spend together. Even if it’s just for a little while. Dedicate time to the relationship that nothing can interrupt. This is a sacred time for the two of you, and during it do what makes both of you feel most fulfilled.
Step 2: Take Charge of How You Perceive Your Partner Each Day
The good feelings between partners are often heightened by the way in which they view one another. Do you view him as a hero? Someone you can look up to and respect? Or are you mostly dwelling upon his/her faults? After a relationship has gone on for a while it is easy to begin to view one another as ordinary. This is a sure-fire technique for putting out any fire that might exist. Remember, when you first fell in love, you only saw the best about that person and focused on how wonderful they were. If you want to keep the love alive, keep that going consciously.
Here are two exercises to do to help. Get a personal notebook to record your experiences and feelings in. Read it from time to time. Dedicated a certain time each day to the relationship and what is possible between the two of you.
Exercise A – How You See Your Partner
Take some time and write down a description of how you see your partner. Who is he/she to you now? How do you feel about him? Write this down without censoring your thoughts and feelings.
Then, write down how you saw him when you first met, and how you felt about him then. See how your feelings of closeness are affected by the way you are perceiving the person today. Realize that how you perceive a person is totally within your control. You can have the most beautiful person in front of you, but if you do not see it, it is of no avail.
Consciously view your partner in a way that is similar to the way you did in the beginning. They will feel the effects of this, and begin responding in kind.
Exercise B – Stop Pushing Him/Her Away
There are many, little things we do (consciously and unconsciously) that push our partners away. Many are afraid of intimacy and do a great deal to short circuit it. Take a little while to write down ways in which you push him/her away. This is not to blame yourself, but to become aware of the times when you are not actually inviting closeness, but putting on the brakes.
Now, decide to change the way you behave. Each day take one item on your list (the way you’ve pushed him away) and do the opposite. For example, rather than criticizing him in public, say nice things about him with friends. A few small actions can have huge effects. .
Step 2: Understanding Hidden Expectations
There is nothing that can cause us to disconnect from each other as much as expectations that have been unfulfilled. We all enter relationships with many kinds of expectations and dreams, some we are aware of, others not. There is nothing that causes more disappointment than our expectations which are not being met.
Take a moment to become aware of what you are expecting of your partner. Is it possible for him to fulfill these expectations Does he want the same thing from the relationship?
More often than not, it is our unfulfilled expectations, not the other person, which make us upset. In order to feel close and satisfied in a relationship, a crucial step is making sure your expectations can be met. See how your expectations align with the person you’re with. Also take time to see if anyone can fulfill them? Are these expectations realistic or simply childhood dreams you are still carrying with you?
Exercise C –- Letting Him Fulfill Your Dreams
Become aware off which expectations of yours your partner does meet. Now see if you are willing to be satisfied with that. Can you find a way to feel grateful for what you are receiving? Sometimes just deciding that what your partner offers is good enough, can allow the love to re-ignite once again.
Then, let him know that he’s making you happy. Most people have a deep need to know and to hear that they are meaningful to you.
Step 6: Re-Choose Your Partner
When these steps are taken, you will not only be more connected, but you will be with your partner because there is no other place you want to be. The relationship will not be one of convenience, but one of choice. The actual act of re-choosing our partners, of knowing they are the one’s we want to be with, is the culmination of the reconnecting and romance we’ve found.
Sometimes it is very beautiful to make this process conscious. You can write down and express the ways in which you wish to recommit to your partner, you can write down and express the aspects of them that cause you to feel this way. By doing this on an on-going basis, we not only keep the love and relationship fresh, but we keep ourselves aware of why we are with the person, what our part is in the relationship, and the joy and romance that is possible for us to have forever.
Cc/author/2005
Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship in Dr. Shoshanna's new e-book, Save Your Relationship, (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). http://www.truthaboutlove.com. Even a wonderful relationship can become difficult when we don't know and practice the simple laws of love. In this e-book you'll discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to set them straight. Filled with guidance and exercises, you'll learn how to clear up misunderstandings, feel good about yourself and make wise choices. Not only will you save your relationship, but find the fulfillment you've been hoping for. Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, speaker, workshop leader and the author of many books, including The Anger Diet (30 Days to Stress Free Living), Zen and the Art of Falling In Love, and Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World).http://www.brendashoshsanna.com, or contact Dr. Shoshanna at mailto: topspeaker@yahoo.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Brenda_Shoshanna
By Dr. Brenda Shoshanna
Some believe that romance should just come naturally, and if it doesn’t, or if the original closeness that existed in a relationship starts to subside, it means that something is wrong. Nothing is further from the truth. Keeping love alive requires time, attention and the willingness to keep things fresh and learn how to constantly reconnect. Here are some steps that will help us reconnect with our partners, and keep the love alive.
Step 1: Give up dead routines
After the initial excitement of being together is over, many fall into a routine and begin taking one another for granted. They assume they know what their partner is feeling, that it doesn’t matter if they come late for a date, don’t look as good as they used to, or decide to spend more and more time out with friends. However, it is crucial to realize that there are many small ways in which we sabotage relationships. Unless two people feel cared for and valued by one another, it is easy for the feelings of love to fade away.
Break into routines. Snap out of ruts. Take time to plan exciting, romantic, delicious times to spend together. Even if it’s just for a little while. Dedicate time to the relationship that nothing can interrupt. This is a sacred time for the two of you, and during it do what makes both of you feel most fulfilled.
Step 2: Take Charge of How You Perceive Your Partner Each Day
The good feelings between partners are often heightened by the way in which they view one another. Do you view him as a hero? Someone you can look up to and respect? Or are you mostly dwelling upon his/her faults? After a relationship has gone on for a while it is easy to begin to view one another as ordinary. This is a sure-fire technique for putting out any fire that might exist. Remember, when you first fell in love, you only saw the best about that person and focused on how wonderful they were. If you want to keep the love alive, keep that going consciously.
Here are two exercises to do to help. Get a personal notebook to record your experiences and feelings in. Read it from time to time. Dedicated a certain time each day to the relationship and what is possible between the two of you.
Exercise A – How You See Your Partner
Take some time and write down a description of how you see your partner. Who is he/she to you now? How do you feel about him? Write this down without censoring your thoughts and feelings.
Then, write down how you saw him when you first met, and how you felt about him then. See how your feelings of closeness are affected by the way you are perceiving the person today. Realize that how you perceive a person is totally within your control. You can have the most beautiful person in front of you, but if you do not see it, it is of no avail.
Consciously view your partner in a way that is similar to the way you did in the beginning. They will feel the effects of this, and begin responding in kind.
Exercise B – Stop Pushing Him/Her Away
There are many, little things we do (consciously and unconsciously) that push our partners away. Many are afraid of intimacy and do a great deal to short circuit it. Take a little while to write down ways in which you push him/her away. This is not to blame yourself, but to become aware of the times when you are not actually inviting closeness, but putting on the brakes.
Now, decide to change the way you behave. Each day take one item on your list (the way you’ve pushed him away) and do the opposite. For example, rather than criticizing him in public, say nice things about him with friends. A few small actions can have huge effects. .
Step 2: Understanding Hidden Expectations
There is nothing that can cause us to disconnect from each other as much as expectations that have been unfulfilled. We all enter relationships with many kinds of expectations and dreams, some we are aware of, others not. There is nothing that causes more disappointment than our expectations which are not being met.
Take a moment to become aware of what you are expecting of your partner. Is it possible for him to fulfill these expectations Does he want the same thing from the relationship?
More often than not, it is our unfulfilled expectations, not the other person, which make us upset. In order to feel close and satisfied in a relationship, a crucial step is making sure your expectations can be met. See how your expectations align with the person you’re with. Also take time to see if anyone can fulfill them? Are these expectations realistic or simply childhood dreams you are still carrying with you?
Exercise C –- Letting Him Fulfill Your Dreams
Become aware off which expectations of yours your partner does meet. Now see if you are willing to be satisfied with that. Can you find a way to feel grateful for what you are receiving? Sometimes just deciding that what your partner offers is good enough, can allow the love to re-ignite once again.
Then, let him know that he’s making you happy. Most people have a deep need to know and to hear that they are meaningful to you.
Step 6: Re-Choose Your Partner
When these steps are taken, you will not only be more connected, but you will be with your partner because there is no other place you want to be. The relationship will not be one of convenience, but one of choice. The actual act of re-choosing our partners, of knowing they are the one’s we want to be with, is the culmination of the reconnecting and romance we’ve found.
Sometimes it is very beautiful to make this process conscious. You can write down and express the ways in which you wish to recommit to your partner, you can write down and express the aspects of them that cause you to feel this way. By doing this on an on-going basis, we not only keep the love and relationship fresh, but we keep ourselves aware of why we are with the person, what our part is in the relationship, and the joy and romance that is possible for us to have forever.
Cc/author/2005
Discover the surprising truths about love that will save your relationship in Dr. Shoshanna's new e-book, Save Your Relationship, (21 Basic Laws of Successful Relationships). http://www.truthaboutlove.com. Even a wonderful relationship can become difficult when we don't know and practice the simple laws of love. In this e-book you'll discover the common mistakes people make in relationships and how to set them straight. Filled with guidance and exercises, you'll learn how to clear up misunderstandings, feel good about yourself and make wise choices. Not only will you save your relationship, but find the fulfillment you've been hoping for. Dr. Shoshanna is a psychologist, speaker, workshop leader and the author of many books, including The Anger Diet (30 Days to Stress Free Living), Zen and the Art of Falling In Love, and Zen Miracles (Finding Peace In An Insane World).http://www.brendashoshsanna.com, or contact Dr. Shoshanna at mailto: topspeaker@yahoo.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dr._Brenda_Shoshanna
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